when i grow up

Jax and Josiah have birthdays this month! So we threw a little party yesterday.

They have been talking alot about what they want to be when the grow up lately. Josiah wants to be a police officer. And Jax an astronaut farmer. He wants “to grow food on the planets and sell it to the countries.” Ha!

Our friends dressed up as what they want to be too! And we had lots of water fun outside.

I did a horrible job taking my camera out for photos.. because I just came off of a long wedding yesterday and wanted to just be in the moment more than capture it. But I did grab a few!

Thanks to everyone who came and participated! Was such a great afternoon for my boys.

 

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heavy

May is filled with so many amazing things. My son Jax graduated preschool and turns 5, my other son Josiah turned 4, and we just had Mother’s Day last weekend. And… summer starts!

And while these events bring so many smiles, there is also a sense of sadness.

It is hard to explain, but today I decided to try.

Adoption is beautiful. It truly is. Everyday I am overwhelmed with gratitude that God stepped in and changed the path for them. Jax and Josiah bring so much joy to our lives. I am very blessed to be their mom.

But, the reality is there is no adoption without loss and pain . . . and grief.

We became a foster family to these boys through hard circumstances. We became their forever family because attempts to reunify them with their biological family failed.

I grieve the loss of my boy’s birth parents (all four of them). I am sad they are missing these big moments. I am sad for my boys that something so precious as a bond between a parent and child had to be broken. I know ultimately this is what was best for everyone involved. But, it’s still loss.

So, the past few weeks I kept wondering why I felt so all over the place with my emotions.  I think it is just this journey we are on. And I know they are still so young, but I think there will be a day when it becomes bittersweet for my boys as well.  Luke and I pray all of the time that we will have the wisdom to listen, guide, and love them through it.

It’s easy for any of us to sit in our circumstances in life and judge others who are in a different place. 

This week Luke and I brought a young woman we found on the street to the hospital. I spent hours with her and the more of her story I learned and put together, the more I understood she was in a very desperate, dark place. So young. So beautiful. So Broken.

I couldn’t help but cry my eyes out on the drove home. Her story was so similar to many of the parents that have children removed by child services. Honestly, her story was freakishly similar to my own boy’s moms. 

I couldn’t help but think, what if I had been born into different circumstances? It could have been me. And I know what people say (I agree) that your past and current circumstances don’t have to define you. But, the reality is when its been generation after generation, it is not easy to break the cycle. I am just incredibly grateful that my boys were given the gift of life despite the hardships their parents were facing. 

So I will pray for my children’s birth parents. I will think about them often. I will grieve their loss, even in the moments I am celebrating.  

direction

I like having a plan. It sounds like something that I should go to a group counseling session for: “Hi, my name’s Jenny and I need a plan, no seriously” Can anyone else relate? I am a little over half way through this study from Priscilla Shier called Discerning the Voice of God. Guys, it’s […]

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haiti march 2018

We had such a blast this past week in Haiti. Because of so many generous people, we were able to bring close to 600 pairs of shoes from Ellie’s Shoe-be-do. 17 huge checked bags! We passed out the shoes in three different areas in Haiti. Each distribution went so smoothly (probably the best ones yet). […]

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thanks for nerding out with us

Ellie loves science! So for this year’s big 1-0.. we decided to an entire party full of experiments. It was so fun! A big thanks to our friends and family who helped make it such a great time.  

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homemade bird feeders

So I can’t take credit for these little creations. This was all my oldest daughter Ellie’s idea. But, it was super easy and fun! Maybe you can use it for a little afternoon entertainment? Supplies needed: Bird Seed Elmers School Glue (non toxic) Twine or String Pinecones (we also had an adventure and searched for […]

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irma

We had an unexpected guest a few weeks ago. Some girl named Irma, heard of her? Irma was a monster hurricane that decided to rock the islands and make its way to Florida. Our home in Royal Palm just had very minor things.. debris filled the yard and we lost some shingles that we will […]

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back to school

They are growing way too fast! School may be a hard transition for some of our kiddos (so prayers appreciated for that).. but this morning they all seem pretty excited!

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summer fun

We had so many great adventures this summer! From trips to Chicago, Miami, Legoland, and Haiti to just getting to live at the lake in between, truly priceless memories! I am so grateful we can have our summers all together. Summer…. do you have to come to an end???

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haiti june 2017

We just got home from an amazing trip to Haiti with our girls! The majority of our trip was spent with our family at Wholehearted Home. We love them so much and it was extra special to see our children playing together. Luke was able to do driving lessons with the older boys and also […]

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