pulling weeds, planting seeds

I’m not going to lie… I am really discouraged. It was one of those days I couldn’t quite see the light at the end of the tunnel.. 😭 which for me is pretty bad because I’m usually the “upside” kinda girl.

I committed to doing this “what are you grateful for today” thing every day in November (you can follow that journey on social media if you want to).

But today, I wanted to sulk. Today was hard. I didn’t want to be grateful.

But, as a laid down to go to sleep… I felt convicted.

I do have a lot to be grateful for.. way more then the amount of days in November.

And especially on a night like tonight, I’m thankful for a Heavenly Father who walks with us during those rough times, whose promises never fail. I’m thankful I get to be a mom.. even though it was not fun or easy today… I know it is a gift.

We have seasons like these as parents where we are planting seeds and pulling weeds… in order to produce a fruit later. I know this, I just need to remember it. So I choose to “think on these things” as I sleep tonight. And I’m very thankful tomorrow is a new day. ❤️

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adoption day

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The big day came and it was so special.

So, meet OUR SON… Jax Lukas.

We are so blessed and privileged to be his forever family!

Here are some images from the morning.

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big announcement

16 months ago we received our second foster child. Our first little guy didn’t stay with us too long.. so we ended up taking in another child the same day that the first child left us.

I remember when we first started on this fostering journey so many around us were excited.  So many comments of how cute he is, or how he is in such a better place being with our family and in some ways, we were riding on a wave of adrenaline as we started on this new adventure.  The enthusiasm was high.

But eventually it fades. It gets hard.

There are still blessings and great moments along the way.. but I will be honest, there were also times we questioned if this is what we were supposed to be doing.

Fostering isn’t easy. You lose some freedoms. We went from having two girls who were in school (out of the baby stage) to caring for a newborn in our home again. That made for some huge changes to my schedule and to our family’s. Babies take a lot of work. You lose simplicity. Things become a little more complicated, not just because you have more kids.. but because you don’t really have control over that foster child. You have to get permission to go on vacation. You can’t make medical decisions. They have to make their visits, court appearances, evaluations, etc. It wasn’t quite as simple as having our daughters.

And of course, there is the emotional side of fostering…  you fall in love with this precious little child in your care. They become a part of your family… and they should (no matter what the future may hold).. because that’s really your job and calling as a foster parent.

I was listening to a message the other day and Romans 12:1 came up…

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”

Our little family has been called to offer our bodies as living sacrifices.  How we live our lives… reflects what we believe in and stand for.  And I read this I am reminded that sacrifices aren’t easy, but they are so worth it.

When we said yes to fostering, I thought I was just allowing a little extra noise in our home. I thought we would just be feeding another mouth and maybe get a little less sleep at night. I thought it was all about the love and care WE were going to give that child. God must have seen my heart and smiled, knowing the work He was about to do in me through this process.

Fostering has helped me realize I can be pretty selfish. I also have seen that I have a need to control things. And this process has been humbling and convicting for me.

It’s also shown me an entirely new depth of God’s love. I felt like when I had Ellie and Kira I sensed God’s love in a whole new way. Maybe some other parents have been here too? I was able to understand the love a parent has for their children, now that I had children of my own. But, I think seeing the love that extends to children outside of my biological kids, has helped me see the love of God all the more clear. We are all honestly just like a child who is in desperate need of a father’s love. That is why it is so amazing that our Heavenly Father steps in and loves us so deeply.

Fostering has changed my family and the people around us too. When people see our family come together to love these little ones, it preaches a sermon of its own. The sermon shouldn’t be about how great my family is, but about how great the Kingdom of God will be. The Kingdom will be a place where white, black, brown, and many other colors of people will come together to worship God. This Kingdom can be lived out on this earth, and one of the ways is through fostering and adoption.

I clearly remember when our current foster son came in our home. For almost a year and a half now, I have watched this little boy grow up.

God has rescued him and He allowed us to join Him in the process.  He took him from a dangerous background, and delivered him to a new hope.

I’m so thankful my husband and I decided to do this a year and a half ago.  Through it, I have come to understand a little more clearly love, tenderness, and compassion.

We knew from the beginning that this was probably not going to be a long-term/permanent thing.  And our desire was for him to know his family if they were in a place that it was possible. I had come to terms with the fact that he would be leaving us soon… and I gave that over to God. It was hard, but I knew that God loves this little guy so much more than I do.

The plans.. well they seemed to change again. And God never fails to show me His protection for this boy.

This past week we were asked if we would be willing to adopt him and be his forever home. We, of course, said YES!

We will keep you updated once he’s officially a part of our family.

We want to thank so many of you who have loved and supported us through this process. Thank you to our awesome families and friends who have loved this child as their own from day 1. And to our Heavenly Father for blessing us with the privilege of being his forever mommy and daddy. We didn’t expect that, but He still chose to bless us with this child we love so much.

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