imperfection

imperfection

So this week I had someone confess to me that when they first met me, they were intimidated. They didn’t want to talk to me because they felt like I was “too perfect.”

Slam the breaks. What?!?

If you think I am perfect, you must not really know what’s going on inside all this. I don’t have it all together. Who does?

In all honesty, I’ve cried more times over the past year than I’d like to admit. There are moments where I feel so overwhelmed that I’m convinced I’m failing as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a business owner and certainly as a friend.

I have lost my cool on my kids. I have most definitely lost my cool on my husband. I have had pity parties. I have been selfish. I have complained. Gosh, the list could go on…

Even this week… I have been battling the Lord when it comes to control over things in my life. Whether I want to admit it or not, I do stress over my foster son’s situation and case. I do feel completely overwhelmed with my business right now  (the pressure to increase my workload to pay the bills). And, don’t get me started on my marriage… I keep trying to “fix my husband” (when I really need to work on fixing myself first).

NEWS FLASH JENNY….

You DONT have all of the answers. You DONT have control. You CANT change someone else.

Want to know why? Because I am IMPERFECT. I am flawed. I will MESS UP (and I do all the time).

But, PRAISE THE LORD.. this is where grace comes in. This is where I can hit my knees and thank God that HE completes me. He takes my imperfections and all the nasty sides of Jenny… wipes the slate clean.

So tonight, I am being honest with you. I struggle too, all of the time!

I don’t ever want you to be scared to be real with me.

There is no such thing as perfect when it comes to moms, wives, or human beings in general. So, first stop believing that lie. Two, be willing to show your imperfections.

Because our imperfections point to the fact that we NEED HIM!

I remember when I was in middle school I did a report on John Newton.

He was a former slave ship captain and eventually the author of the song, Amazing Grace.

In the last years of  his life, he told a friend this…

“I am not what I ought to be! How imperfect and deficient I am! I am not what I wish to be, although I try to fight that which is evil and cleave to what is good! I am not what I hope to be, but soon I shall be gone from life in this world and truly be that which I was created to be.

Though I am not what I ought to be, nor what I wish to be, nor yet what I hope to be, I can truly say I am not what I once was: a slave to sin. I can heartily join with family of God and acknowledge that by the grace of God I am what I am!”

I always loved that.

We are imperfect and we never will be perfect until our time here is done and we can join our Heavenly Father. But, while we are here… we can acknowledge that we aren’t what we once were. We know the truth now and we can be made better and changed within through our relationship with God. Even if we take a step backwards here and there… His grace comes in and sets us back on track.

 

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Comments

  1. You might not be perfect. Who is? But you are very clear.

  2. Thanks for this encouragement & truth. It is hard to fight not feeling like a failure when we have lots of demands in front of us and a world portraying it to be so easy and that we have to be perfect. The comparison game is all too real as a mom. Thanks for your honesty and for being real. We all have struggles and need a change of perspective at times.

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